Feels hatred for her non-practicing husband
11-5-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
Asalaam-O-Alykum I've been married to my husband for nearly 6 months and things have have been good and bad for 5 months. We argue alot, which i accept is my fault as much as it is his. I admit i'm not a practising muslim, i keep halal but i don't know how to pray and have only now started taking the time learn. My husband doesn't pray either, he usually keeps halal but sometimes i don't think he does. Firstly my main problem with him is he doesn't let me wear hijab, he knew i wore it when we met but after marriage he doesn't allow me to wear it, he says it's because we live in a small town and people stare but i was used to that, i feel bad without it on. Secondly i have caught him watching porn many times, i told him i don't like and please don't do it but i continue to find he's been looking at it on the computer he only does it when he's angry with me though. Thirdly when we have arguement i usually become silent as i feel talking with him gets nowhere so he starts calling very bad names and pulls me about. Lastly whenever i need food for the home or clothing he moans and tells me there's no money because he's saving it and then he moans when there is no food in the house for his dinner, i've needed new clothes and shoes for a long time as mine are falling apart but i'm too scared to tell him anymore i need these things as he becomes in mood for that too. I asked him one month ago that divorce me because you are not happy but he insisted he was so i left it, but now i've started feeling hate towards even when things are fine, i don't think i love him anymore. I really hate the idea of divorce but i feel it's the only way out, i've tried talking so many times with him but with nothing ever changes and i have tried to change myself. Whenever i ask Allah for a sign what i should do, i always end up seeing my husband in bad way. What should i do? (sorry for the very long question)
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The most serious thing which you mentioned in the question is that you and your husband neglect the prayer; therefore, you are both obliged to immediately repent to Allaah and observe the prayer at its prescribed fixed time. Some scholars 
are of the view that abandoning the prayer takes a person out of the fold of Islam. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81555.
Also, what you mentioned about your husband watching porn films, is a great sin, in addition to him preventing you from wearing Hijab.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83033.
In any case, you should advise your husband in a soft and gentle manner about the prohibitions which he commits, like abandoning the prayer and the like. If he persists on that, then you should not stay with him. You should ask him to divorce you and if he does not respond, you should take the matter to an Islamic centre.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 90578, 85240 and 88010.
Finally, it should be noted that learning how to perform ablution and prayer is very easy; in this regard, you may refer to Fataawa 85270 and 83164.
Allaah Knows best.