Her husband talks about her parents in a bad manner
4-5-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
me and my husband are 2 brothers children(chacha/taya).whenever there are family differences my husband abuses and talks badly about my parents and expects me to support him all the time. sometimes i quietly listen to all that and at times i justify and protect my parents when i cannot bear to hear ill of them.he says he hates them but they love him a lot. my husband says he will never let me do anything for them. i want to always do as much as i can now that i am working and even if i was not working. we always have fights because of this.otherwise we love each other and we also have a baby.help me. guide us rightfully.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Undoubtedly, the abusive language of your husband about your parents is something which is forbidden in religion as this is backbiting and slandering. This is also misconduct to you, which is contrary to what Allaah ordered the believers in regard to treating their wives. Allaah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19] Additionally, one’s paternal uncle holds the same status as the father, and this makes the sin even graver.
Moreover, some scholars 
stated that a wife has the right to ask for divorce if her husband harms her by insulting her or her parents. Nonetheless, we recommend you that advise your husband in a soft and gentle manner and remind him of Allaah and His severe Punishment, and that slandering and backbiting are very dangerous. You should also point to him that when he mistreats your parents he is actually mistreating you. If he takes heed and stops, then this is what is required, otherwise you should be patient and endeavour in supplicating Allaah for him as He may guide him. Besides, you should avoid anything that irritates him and makes him insult your parents.
As regards his objection to you in helping your parents, if you mean financial support, then he has no right to prevent you from spending your money the way you want, either by gifting it to your parents or else. However, if it better for you to convince him about this and come to an agreement with him so that the devil will not spoil your relationship with him.
In case your husband does not understand or appreciate the kindness and financial support that you provide to your parents, then you may support them without his knowledge.
However, if by helping your parents, you mean that you go out of your home to your parents’ house in order to help them, then it is not permissible in principle for a woman to go out of her house without her husband’s permission. However, the husband is not permitted to absolutely prevent his wife from visiting her parents, according to the view of some scholars unless there is harm in her going to them. Therefore, if your parents need help and they have no other person to help them, then you are permitted to visit them even if your husband does not give you permission and you should not obey him in cutting ties with them.
With regard to visiting them without a necessity, then you should not go out of the house without your husband’s permission. You should try to convince him about the right of your parents on you. Him preventing you from visiting them is considered as severing the ties which Allaah ordered us to maintain.
Allaah Says (what means): {Who break the covenant of Allaah after contracting it and sever that which Allaah has ordered to be joined and cause corruption on earth. It is those who are the losers.}[Quran 2:27]
Allaah Knows best.