Infected by the same STD which her husband had before marriage
11-11-2007 | IslamWeb
Question:
I married a year and half ago. I never asked my husband about previous relations. However i had a feeling that he might have had a relation in the past due to his age and living abroad on his own. I wasn't able to talk about my doubts before our marriage. I married him, a pure wife who always feared Allah and protected myself alhamdoolillah. My husband is my first and only. recently I got a diagnosis from the dr that i have Human papilloma virus, an STD the high risk group which can result in cervical caner in few years. it has no cure. I'm only 28. I'm devestated about what happened. I discovered that my husband had it before we got married and didn't know about it. I feel so lonely and lost. i want to talk to my family but can't talk about family secrets to others in islam. my trust and love for my husband has been affected. can i tell a family member?do i leave him?was it my fault that i didn't ask about his past? how can i make sure that he did the right tawba before he married me? i don't feel like doing my obligations towards him as my respect is greatly affected. do i leave him? How can i live with the possibility of getting cancer without telling even my close family? do i try to have children or forget about it as i might not be able to raise them for long enough? i'm so worried. what do i do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed, being chaste and fearing Allaah are praiseworthy qualities, and we ask Allaah to protect you and cure you and your husband from this disease.
You should know that it is not permissible for any spouse to ask the other about whether or not he/she had an affectionate relationship in the past, and it is not permissible for each one to inform the other when he/she is asked, as it is an obligation to conceal one's sins.
However, it is possible for each spouse to undergo a general medical test before marriage in order to make sure that they are not affected with a disease which may contaminate the other.
With regard to your case, since your husband did not know about the disease, then he has not wronged you, and you are not permitted to be negligent in your obligations towards him as long as you are his wife.
We advise you to seek treatment and Ruqyah and supplicate Allaah much, as He may cure you from this disease; indeed this is easy for Allaah. In fact there is no disease except that it has a cure, whether or not we know it.
As regards avoiding having children, then if a trustworthy doctor informs you that this disease will certainly be transmitted to the children, or it is nearly certain that it will be transmitted to them, then it is permissible to avoid having children for this reason only, but not for fearing not be able to cultivate them for a long time, as you mentioned in the question, as this is a matter of the Unseen. It might be that you will be cured and live for a long time. In addition to this, The One Who Creates them is able to protect them.
Moreover, only temporary methods of contraception should be used, like coitus interruptus and the like.
As regards asking for divorce, if your husband having intercourse with you may worsen the disease, then you have the right to ask for divorce due to the harm. In case you hate him and you fear that this will lead you to be negligent about his right, then this gives you the right to ask him for Khul'; for more benefit please refer to Fatwa 89039.
Finally, you should not inform your family about the matter as it is more appropriate to keep it secret unless there is a confirmed benefit in informing them.